PITTSBURGH (KDKA) — An online petition to sell the state of Montana to Canada for $1 trillion has gone viral.
The Change.org petition has more than 8,000 signatures so far.
“We have too much debt and Montana is useless,” says the petition. “Just tell them it has beavers or something”
Ian Hammond, the petition creator, wants to sell The Treasure State to the nation’s neighbor to the north for $1 trillion to help pay down the national debt.
A lot of Montanans appear okay with the idea.
“This Montanan totally supports the idea,” Michelle Erb said.
Others who signed the petition are thinking about moving before the sale takes place.
“If this pans out, I think I’ll move to Montana before the transfer takes place,” one person who signed the petition wrote.
This is something we should have started YEARS ago. Like many other great business, America became too big too fast. We over expanded and now we have a whole bunch of land that we simply are not getting the most out of.
The youngest states in our nation are Alaska and Hawaii, who have been a part of the USA for almost 100 years. Everyone has had more than enough time to prove their worth. Unfortunately for some places, they just aren’t good enough to make team USA.
We owe some people a lot of fucking money. You know what will always have value? Land. And buddy, we got a shit load of it just sitting here waiting to be sold.
States like Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota and Idaho are really not worth keeping around if you think about it. While I get that farming is important and that they have some incredible wild life, it isn’t like we lose access to those things if we sell them to our idiot neighbors up north.
It seems as if this area of America is its own country anyway. No one goes there willingly and most people wouldn’t even know that they were gone if these states were sold.
What sucks about it is the fact that there are without a doubt worse states than the ones I listed. The only problem is, they are not boarder states.
I would sell West Virginia to anyone for less than $100. I don’t care what country it goes to, I just don’t want them in America anymore. They could be sold directly to North Korea or Russia, which would give them inside access to harm our nation and I probably would still take that risk.
The problem with this idea is that it simply isn’t practical. No country will want to buy a state that is in the middle of another country. Especially a in a shit hole like West Virginia.
In reality, we need that dump to make the drives down south to Florida a lot more efficient. If it weren’t for that, I would be in favor of either selling it or simply kicking them out.
Other states that I also would be okay with putting on the trading block would be Mississippi, Alaska and Utah.
Mississippi is hands down the worst state in the deep south (the area filled with probably the dumbest people on the earth). However, unlike Mississippi, the other states provide our country with either humor, a nice vacation spot or at the very least a solid college football program. Mississippi does nothing.
They might be worse than West Virginia if it were not for the absolute babes that attend Ole Miss. If we do sell that state, make sure we save them before the deal is complete.
Alaska to me is like Derick Brassard. We tried to make him a good fit. There was a decent resume that built a chase to bring him in and many were hoping it would be just what we needed to get better, but unfortunately as time went on, both Alaska and Brassard proved to have little to no value.
Alaska has polar bears which are cool but as shitty as this sounds, I am not so sure those things will even be around in 100 years. If I end up being right, which again, I hope I am not, then what do they bring to the table? Just a bunch of drama over some gas line or something? Who really knows.
Finally there is Utah. I hear that this state is beautiful and they actually have a pro sports team so they would be hard to let go but they could end up providing us with the biggest return. Sorry Donovan Mitchell and Mormons, the USA is always in win now mode. Sometimes that means we have to say goodbye to a few solid prospects.
So overall, here is my list of states I would sell to other countries. Let me know if you have a case for any others.
- North Dakota
- West Virginia
I don’t want to see anyone go but this might be what we need to get back on top. God Bless the USA.