I Already Found Antonio Brown’s Replacement

Now that we can pretty much confirm that AB is gone, it is time that we start looking at who will be his replacement. I understand that we have Juju but I am not trying to change anything that they did with him last season.

Keep him out wide, keep him running routes over the middle. We need another speedster who can run the deep route. The good news is, I already found the guy.

Yep, that is Boston Redsox right fielder and AL MVP, Mookie Betts.

I know what you’re thinking. “But Tommy! Mookie Betts is a baseball player. He is signed to a long term deal by the Red Sox. How could we ever get him to come to Pittsburgh?”

My rebuttal is simple: We give him the chance to play both in Pittsburgh.

Neither the Red Sox or Belichick would allow that in New England. There is just no chance. But here in Pittsburgh, we don’t give a fuck about what our football players do off the field and the owner of our baseball team probably can’t name more than 15 guys on the 40 man roster.

The Steelers would probably have to pay his salary for both baseball and football but that’s fine. We can just give him what they were paying AB and Lev Bell.

The biggest challenge would be getting him here. What does Pittsburgh have to offer that the Red Sox would be willing to trade Betts for?

I think we could maybe offer them Corey Dickerson, Mitch Keller and the entire Indianapolis Indians as a start. That is a replacement for Betts in the OF, one of the best pitching prospects in baseball and an entire triple A team.

Then, since he is also going to play for the Steelers, they will have to kick in something as well. We could make a deal with them not to play renegade against the Patriots. That plus a few million dollars and one or two ships from the Gateway Clipper fleet might be enough.

So lets make it happen. Mookie Betts to the Steelers and the Pirates in exchange for Corey Dickerson, Mitch Keller, the Indianapolis Indians, renegade vs the Patriots, $3-5 million and two steam boats.

What do you say Boston? We have a deal or what?

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